Happy New Year

Here's my 10 for Tuesday, which is really a list of resolutions that I probably won't keep but want to try.

1. Exercise more. Say that all the time, but I do have a pass for the local gym and have actually been going to the step class 2x a week on and off. Gotta start using those yoga tapes I have.

2. Eat less and better. The problem with trying to diet I've found is that as soon as I declare a diet, I immediately eat a pound of m&ms every day until I decide I've gone off the diet. Maybe hypnosis should be on my list this year.

3. Keep working on that happy place. I started practincing random acts of happy this summer to lessen the road rage and general meanness I get. I take a deep breath and tell myself not to let the "offender" win by making me angry and nasty for what ever amount of time it takes me to get over it. Amazingly that has helped a lot. Only one time in the past month have I walked in the door at the end of the day totally raged, and that was because of someone at work . . . it took MANY deep breaths to get over that one.

4. Plan meals, see #2. I can plan till I'm blue in the face, it's that old follow through that seems to stop me.

5. Obviously follow through on the day to day stuff I'm trying to work on. Well, I am still a work in progress

6. Take trips. I want to see my mom more, and why haven't I gone to see son #1? I could certainly do it on a 3 day weekend even if I only saw each of them a day and a half to allow for travel time. I also want to go to other places. Well, I know why, money is not pouring out of my pockets

7. Money. GOT to get a handle on it.

8. Give more home made christmas presents in 2009. That should be easy?

9. Start making those christmas presents now - hahahahahah. Well, maybe if I make a list, set a goal and do one a month, that will be some of them?

10. Enjoy life. I've been working on that one too. And I do for the most part enjoy my life each and every day. Now is the time to figure out how to do it more. More more more. Bigger, better. Since I don't watch a lot of tv anymore because really it is mostly crap, I dont have the buy buy buy get get get feeling as much. I don't feel poor, unloved, inadequate becuase I am not keeping up with the jones. I don't know the jones, I don't see the jones and I really don't care what the jones are doing.

Peace and here's to a better 2009 :)

Merry Christmas to All!

It is a great day! Spending with most of my family (except army son who is in Louisiana working hard guarding our country). Will see my sister and her family for lunch then DH and I leave to spend the weekend with my mom. Can't. wait. DD leaving to spend the rest of the year with some friends/family out of state. Son 2 gets the entire house t himself for the weekend. Hope it is still here when I get back. Gave him cat care lessons yesterday. They will all be eating deli roast beef I'm sure :)




my boys.

I use to call son 1 and son 2 "the boys" Now they are grown "men". The cats are both boys. It is a natural flow. Of course I try not to call them "the boys" often because it confuses everyone else. The other day I came home and asked DH if "the boys" were outside. He just looked at me in confusion as he was looking at one of them across the room and the other is away. Last night I was talking to son 1 and said something about "the boys" there was a pause. He said oh, you mean the CATS? Well, yeah. oops.

Christmas Eve

the time for resolutions will be here. Not this year. Didn't do it last year, won't do it this one either. But, there are a few things I'd like to work on. I said that last year too. Nothing written down, didn't tell anyone and maybe that was the downfall of them not happening.

I finally figured out that if I decide I need to lose weight, I immediately start eating junk food even when I'm not hungry and don't want it. Why exactly is that? what in my though process does the opposite that I want? Well, I know that I've always been contrary and will the opposite of whatever anyone wants me to do, have always been that way, but now it is really backfiring - must be karma pay back.

Last december 26th i declared that I wasn't celebrating holidays/birthdays anymore. whenever we tried to plan something special, got all excited and our expectations up, something happened. It never fails. Last christmas eve was horrible. So horrible I didn't even ask for a do-over. I tried as much as possible to ignore my birthday, accepted the happy birthday wishes quietly, didn't plan anything special (except I took a 2 hour knitting class that made me happy) and just moved on. easter, memorial day, boys birthday, 4th of July nothing special. Well, got the boys birthday presents, after all it was their 21st, but one was in boot camp.

this christmas, two kids home, one 1,200 miles away, mom 900 miles away. Not sad, not happy. just another day.

WELL, don't I sound all depressing and blah? so. we will try again for 2009. I have a couple short trips planned. Know I will be going away for about a week when #1 son deploys so that we can see him off, then bring his car and stuff home and maybe a trip this summer. I planned gifts for this christmas pretty well and in advance, so will do that again for next year. Organization is going to be my middle name this coming year. HA! well, we'll see but I'm gonna give it a try. that probably means i'll do the exact opposite (see above).

Am going to make the effort to blog every day and see how that works out for me. try and stay honest.

Merry Christmas!

Holiday Cheer Part II

I swear I'm trying to get into the spirit. I'm rethnking all my past years of hopes and failures. The tree was purchased and brought home. It was even brought into the house and put in the stand within 2 days! Last night I thought would be a good night to put up at least the lights. Went to the basement to get the decorations. Found 1 (one) stinkin box which fortunately had the stockings and angle in it, but only one string of lights. The rest of the orniments were no where near the stack of crap I have stored in the laundry room. No problem I thought, I'll look in the storage room under the step.

Of course before I can open that door, I have to move all the crap in my daughter's room because god forbid she ever clean or put anything away. Got it opened. no boxes. none. in fact it looks as if that storage area has been robbed it is so empty looking.

Now I think that maybe they got taken to the off site storage room. Don't ask it's another budget drain that I can't wait to be rid of. However, in my effort to be cheap because the storage room was only supose to have the stuff my DD took from her marriage and was to be temporary storage until she found her own place - 14 months ago - and would take all those treasures and furniture. and it has all my army son's stuff that he couldn't part with while gone for the next undetermined amount of time, and my house is bustin at the seams. but I digress

storage room is 50 miles away. major highway travel is needed to get to it, weekend before holiday. I-95. I may cry

Why do I do This To Myself Part 1

I was having a lovely conversation with son #1 this evening, he's half away across the country serving our country and won't be home for christmas. sigh. Anyway as we were talking about his deployment in May and he was trying to explain how/why they may be deployed earlier, I said oh, we've got to get you a camera that you can download pictures directly to the laptop so that I can see you and what is going on. He said yeah, he wanted to do that. THEN I don't know how exactly we got on the subject of pictures and babies and grandchildren. Well, I do know but it isn't something to be shared with anyone, I said . . .

if you had a baby, I would expect you to be taking pictures all the time and sending them to me on email so that I could enjoy the baby that was half way across the cuontry with you. Once we established that he wouldn't be having any baby any time soon (his words and declaration) which is good because he is too young. then he said If I had a baby then I'd be sending it to live with you especially when I was deployed. . . I'd send my wife too.

hm

well, of course I said that I would welcome them with open arms and of course they could come live here. WHAT WAS I THINKING???????????????????

Then I got that warm fuzzy feeling inside. my baby still is my baby and he does still depend on his mom. I can't make the combat practice, gas chamber, fighting hurts any better, but at least he know and rembers love

Long Time

Well. It's a pretty good thing that I don't think anyone is reading this because I have been woefully behind on any type of blogging whatsoever. thanksgiving was a somber affair. No one was really interested in the day, half of us were sick and son#1 was gone. ick.

Still trying to get my christmas oomph going. Forcing myself to listen to christmas music on the radio, and have been watching some christmas movies. Kids and I went out saturday night and got the tree. Even their selection was blah. It has been a tradition for many many years the the three kids and I go alone to get a tree. we always go to the same place and when we forget and try a different tree place, we always end up going back to the same old faithful one. At night. Last year we went in the afternoon and agreed that you can't buy a tree when the sun is shining. What fun is the surprise in that? As sons 1 and 2 grew taller and taller, we use them as the height measure. The tree has to be taller than my 6' sons. One year we picked a H U G E tree. It wouldn't fit in the net thingy. It wouldn't fit in the front door. They are double doors. My light supply only covered the bottom third of the tree and more lights had to be bought. it was truly a thing of beauty and every time we go tree shopping, we remember with great joy our enormous tree. This years tree is tall, but skinny. All the trees were skinny and there just didn't seem to be as many. there were only two types, fraiser furs (which is what we always get) and white pines or whatever those long needled things are.

Tomorrw night while I watch one of the few shows on TV I enjoy anymore, I'll get the lights on. Maybe we'll start with the ornaments. Since we got the cat, I don't like to use the tinsel anymore becuase I'm afraid he'll eat it. He isn't a very bright cat most of the time. But I love him just the same.

Holidays

I thought it was just me. This year Thanksgiving could have been just another day. We at the traditional meal, but no extended family and one son missing. I just couldn't get myself interested.

Christmas. I love christmas. I love the tree, the outside decorations (although I don't do them anymore) the inside decorations, the 50 million bascillion cookie recipies. This year. nothing. could be just another day. Have done a little shopping and will get the rest done this week. Just saw in a comic that there are 19 days left. Haven't even thought about a tree and quite frankly am not even interested in getting one. what's the matter with me?

Then I thought it was just me and I see that other people are just not getting excited about it either. Is it the economy? maybe. That our families are changing dynamics? maybe. has the comercialism finally reared its ugly head over the top and we're just done? maybe. None of these seem to be the answer either. I wish I could get over it though. I want to be happy for christmas. I also want to see my son in the army too but don't think that is happening either. Maybe if I get the tree up and decorated. Or at least put the lights in the window which I always do on thanksgiving. Maybe I'll just curl up in a box for the rest of the month. and I think I want my mom. Yeah, crawling into her lap right now would be a good thing. And how worried/shocked would my 80 somthing mom be if her 50 some daughter just crawled into her lap? well, that one just made me smile.

Last night we went to a get together. Two very special people are leaving before the end of the year for overseas assignments. one of those special persons is my son in law. the other is his brother. Don't want to think about it much (because my son is next in the spring). Both the boys, who are really men, are excited and happy to be going to do the job they've been training for the past three years, and to server the country their family has dedicated itself to for many generations.

bless them

early morning phone calls

I have semi-adult children now. two live at home, one lives half the country away. The ones that live at home still have to tell me when they expect to be home if they go out, or if they don't expect to be home at all. Either way is fine. And I ask them to wake me up when they come home since I often wake in the middle of the night and then start aworrein. My son's room is down the hall from mine, if he forgets to tell me he's home and I wake up at 2 am all I have to do is look down the hall and see if his door is open or closed. A closed door means he is safe and well. May daugther sleeps down stairs. If I don't remember her coming in as expected, I will walk to a front window and look out to see if her car is home or not. If someone isn't home as expected I have been know to call or text a cell phone with the exact words

You'd better be laying dead in a ditch since you're not home

Sometimes that backfires and someone crawls out of bed to come up and tell me why no they are not in fact laying dead in a ditch. They are laying quite happily in their bed thankyouverymuch.

I was up at 4am saturday. No special reason, just couldn't sleep. So I made my coffee, got my paper and was enjoying a nice quiet morning. at 5:45 am my phone rings. I quickly run down the list of family members, I know 3 are safe and snug in their bed. That leaves my mom 10 hours away and my son 20 hours away. My heart didn't stop, but my blood pressure went up and I leapt for the phone.

My son.
My First question is are you okay?
Well of course I'm okay mom, why wouldn't I be?
Oh, I dunno. Because you are calling me before 6 am?
Oh. Guess What?
I hate those games, they never come out well. But I bit. What?
I made my first arrest last night, the guy was way big and two of us tackled him! I had to take him to the hospital to be checked out then to the jail! (read I'm 10 here)
Oh yeah.

Can't give details, his employer wouldn't like that.

I may start turning all phones off at night.

Miscellaneous Things

So, I've been neglectful recently about posting. Well, I did tell myself that we would see how the blogging thing went, work up to a daily or at least every-other-day posting.

I've finished a sweater - that is about 5 sized too big. Bummer doesn't beging to express my feelings about this situation. I have almost come to the point of being able to take off the colar, un sew the seams, rip three inches off the sleeves - and how exactly did THAT happen? and then I'll start knitting again, while unraveling at the same time. This stuff has some mohair in it. I'm a dumbass.

On the bright side, we had snow flurries monday. I love snow. they are calling for more tomorrow. I hope so, although number 2 son is going to be outside working on his vehicle most of the day so I'd also prefer that be at least 60 degrees. but you can't have everything can you?

Trying to get my house in order which isn't easy. I've been trying for a few years now and it is getting better. My two goals will be to have the house easily taken care of with routine maintenance by the end of the year and to blog more. Surely I can do that.

hmmmm, we'll see

Rainy Day Miscellaneous

The day started out good. Got stuff done around the house, ran errands before the predicted afternoon thunderstorms came. Hung some pictures I'd been meaning to hang for over a year. laid down to read a book for a few minutes and that was it.

But I had a nice nap. Just made some loose leaf tea I got last month from a tea house in Fletcher NC. VERY nice place, a little pricy but the food was delicious, the tea was reasonable priced and kept coming, and the desert, well my muffin top is a bundt cake.

Even got some knitting in and hope to finish a sweater tonight. I got the sleeves sewn in last night and the sholder seams, even picked up a ton of stitched before retiring for the evening. It is a hoodie type sweater but I'm getting a bit tired of working on it, so I think I'll just make it a big collar sweater and call it a day. WHile I've been working on it, I though two buttons, one on each side of the front slit and then some I-cord for a closing would finish it off nicely. And of course, I just realized I'm going to have to increase the collar so it lays flat against my back.

well, at least I realized it's going to need some "refining" before finishing and then being pissed because I have to rip back.

Life

Today has been a day to reflect on life and count your blessings. Also one to recommit to living each day as best as possible, and to be happy.

A friend got a call early this morning that her brother was found dead in his home. He hadn't reported to work for a couple of days, lives alone, and someone went to check on him. Fortunately it has been determined that he didn't commit suicide nor was he murdered. But she was steeling herself to go and tell her 80+ year old parents who lived next door that another of their sons had just died. There were no words to tell her how sorry I am. Only the offer to help however she needs it.

Before that early early this morning as I was listening to the news trying to convince myself to get out of bed even though it was raining, cold and dark. The traffic report said there was an accident investigation going on on the exact part of the inter state that I travel on. So try and pick another way. 5 lanes were reduced to 1 lane. We all know that accident investigation means that someone has died. A 21 year old girl had run under the trailer part of an 18 wheeler about 2:30 a.m. My first thought was how in the heck had that happened, and then what was she doing out on the road at that time of the night? not driving towards home.

I was talking about it with my son tonight and said she was from our area and told him her name. He grabbed his year book. There she was. They went through 6 years of school together and they graduated on the same day. He didn't know her except by name and face but still, it made him stop and think for a minute. Then he started texting old highschool friends . . . this shouldn't be happening.

Ugly

I found it a sad state of affairs the other day when I logged on to ravelry and the first thing that poped up was the rules and regulations. that part didn't bother me so much but I was curious and really read them. MAN, apparently there are a ton of just plain mean and rude people using ravelry these days.

I'm not a pollyanna, nor am I particularly nice all the time, however I have discovered the art and wisdom of being polite to strangers, accepting other people's opinions regardless of what I believe/think/feel . . . of course as long as what they do or say isn't a direct hit at me in which case I sometimes feel the need to stop them with a hey, very rude and hurtful ya know?

Buy hey, if the only way you can express yourself is to be mean, hateful, hurtful, nasty etc. they you really need to get another hobby. knitting, crafting and the like is for relaxation, friendship and warm clothes. even the snarky group I joined has standards and was always way more funny than I ever found offensive.

If you can't play nice, please go to someone elses sandbox, or go build your own

Finished

Well, after waiting 6 months with yarn in hand, I knitted a sweater. Then I blocked said sweater. Then it sat folded neatly in a bag waiting for me to get the gumption to put it together. I looked at those pieces for about 6 months. The final task I dreaded. I thought of a million other things to do/make in order to not have enough time to put it together. Then a brainstorm. I'll go visit my mom for the weekend she'll do it.

Yeah right. Well, she at least sat in the same room with me while I did it.

Yay me!

Saturday

Saturdays are apparently going to be a challenge for Jack. Last saturday he got stuck in a tree just before dinner and we had to make an in the dark using flashlights and 40 foot ladder rescue.

Yesterday at 5am when it was still quite dark, I went out to get the newspaper. Jack apparently has decided that hiding under the plant stand at the front door gives him prime opportunity to sneak out. Yes he is allowed out. During the day. When the sun is shining. Not in the dark, especially near sunrise and sunset because I worry about predators in the neighborhood. We have fox roaming the neighborhood and I have seen birds of prey. And I take the collars off at night because the bells rining were waking me up every hour or two. Cats at play in the middle of the night, ya know?

So . . . out he went, no collar. Taunted me with his boldness and wouldn't come in until well after sun up. Finally got hungry and came in about 8 am for a snack. I at least got the collar on but then he went right back out. Didn't come in again until dinner at 5.

he was so tired when he tried to jump in my bedroom window he didn't quite make it and slid down the wall. second try wasn't much better.

this is how he spent the next 4 hours.

Then he moved to the other end of the house, to the back of the couch and spent another 3 hours before coming to bed again. After breakfast this morning he came to sleep in the chair next to me while I catch up on paperwork and blogging.

Wonder if he eve remembers about going out side?

Fiber Festivals

I have been wanting to get to the New York festival for a few years, always plan for the following fall in November, then something falls apart. Usually me. So, once again I went to Fletcher NC (Asheville) to the southeastern festival at the AG Center. Love that place. Not only is it indoors but it is 15 minutes from my mom. What could be better? a long weekend with my mom and a day of yarn products? We got there about 10, of course parking was not fun, but wasn't as bad as I anticipated either. made a beeline to Brooks Farm and right next to them was a vendor I hadn't seen before. She had a few great things knitted up. I bought a jacket pattern and some of her yarn with which to make it. Then I saw a great shawl, made with 1,000 tensel. Yeah right, I'll be starting that one quick fast and in a hurry.

Was a bit dissapointed, I really wanted to get some needles and didn't see a very large selection and certainly not what I wanted. Well, there's always on line shopping.

Had a great lunch at the local tea house. A bit pricey but good nonetheless. then the afternoon was spent knitting and napping.

Saturday was dedicated to finishing a sweater I made last winter, finished in the spring and never got the gumption to put together. Mom and LK sister offered advise and hand holding and wow, it is perfect! Am working on another sweater that is 2/3ds done, I had thought I'd get it done this weekend during all the driving/car riding and 2 days of knitting time. It never occurred to me that it would take almost an entire day to sew one sweater together. But then, we went out for a nice lunch and some shopping so it wasn't an ENTIRE day I guess. Well, I'll keep workin on the blue one and maybe will have done by end of next weekend.

yea me!

Cats in Trees

We've all heard the jokes, cat stuck in tree, fire department comes to rescue. True. Well, not the fire department part that would have been handled by #2 son. I couldn't find Jack. Finally I could hear him faintly and went looking but couldn't find him. Then it got dark and I stood outside calling. THEN I heard him, a pathetic, something is really wrong howl. So we all went looking. There he was, about 20 feet up in a skinny, not very healthy tree. Of course it wasn't the huge maple in the front but a skinny 50 foot tree most easily accessed from the neighbors yard, where their dog poops all over the place. But that is another tale.

So #2 son got a ladder, propped it up against the tree to get to the branches and climbed, cat carrier on his back. It is dark. We've got three flashlights shining on him, Jack is meowing. I'm the only one thinking this is a bad idea, #2 son doesn't have health insurance right now and we will go broke if he falls out of that tree. Why did I never know that #2 son is afraid of heights? That would explain why he applied to the fire department but didn't go through the entire process.

Fortunately, he got within about 6 feet of jack, held open the cat crate and Jack few into it. He got it zipped and then stayed there for a few minutes contemplating his descent. We should have thought to put a rope around the crate so he could lower it down before climbing down himself - but that would have made sense. But of course he made it just fine, we put the ladder in our yard - it needs a good washing today along with some shoes ick.

Jack and #2 son came in, Jack ate until I thought he would burst, #2 son got the shakes, and apparently scrapped some skin off his shin and arm and didn't want to eat for quite some time. He finally calmed down, watched a movie and we'll see how he is doing this morning.

Of course the suggestion to leave Jack was immediately nixed, I have heard of people leaving cats in trees for days and they won't come down, one dumbass left his cat there so long it died. Next time though it is a tree service or the fire department. Will worry about embarassment later.

miscellaneous

you'd think I wasn't grateful for anything the past few days - nah, there's been a lot.

Yesterday started and ended very well
I got an email from my mom - go mom!
I asked my daughter to do something I knew would blow her fuse and she readily agreed - go DD!
I didn't over eat - go me!

went to my knitting guild last night and actualy enjoyed myself, well I usually do, there is always someone to talk to, I was really early so was one of the first 5 to arrive. when I first joined a few summers ago, there were a lot of people and while I didn't feel no welcomed, I didn't get that warm and fuzzy feeling either. last night was a smaller group than I've seen before but it was debate night. Saw two new magazines now must go try and find at the book store. one is the new debbie bliss premier edition magazine there is a sweater that I MUST make, but I can't start another project like that until I finish the hanna jacket I've started and ripped out.

One large expensive project at a time. And I've got the yarn to make my mom something which I haven't even started yet, and I've changed my mind a couple of times so I don't know. But, with the economomy going the way it is, I'm going to judicially use my stash and slowly put a bit more away while I can afford to just in case I have to go for a long spell of non yarn buying. then will be the time to pull out those long projects and say out loud, I'm only knitting on this until it is finished. don't have to say can't afford more yarn right now, just trying to get some things off the needles.

I'm going to asheville next weekend for their fiber fair, don't usually find anything I can't live without but brooks farm is always there and I LOVE their stuff. I may take a skein or two of one that I have and see if they either have more or I can match it with something. I'm working on a sweater with their stuff right now and it is G R E A T. So soft, so pretty, there were colors I wasn't expecting they are so subtle and I'm loving knitting it up.

Gratefulness

I have decided to spend a few minutes every day for the rest of October listing 5 things a day that I am grateful for. Big and small, wonderful and petty

my family is all employed and for the time being will stay that way

while the economy seems bad, we are fine, we have a roof over out head, can afford the utilities for another month and can eat.

the sun is shining today and I saw a mini rainbow last night when the traffic was so bad I was willing to pull my hair out - but at least I didn't have to pee!

my mom is still alive and kicking and doing fine - and I really need to call her today :)

my son lost his cell phone yesterday and instead of calling me for help, went to the store to replace it all by himself and only had to call for the password to get the new phone activated.

coffee and apple butter on biscuts sure is a good tasting breakfast, and I'll do better for the rest of today (maybe)

okay, so not the greatest list but it is a start

Noise Pollution and Crisis

Have you noticed how the bad news just keeps coming and coming and now, in case you missed it at home on the TV, the radio, innernet or newspaper now you can see TV at the bank, gas station, convenience stores and apparently elevators. I don't work in a high rise anymore and don't frequent office buildings so I wouldn't know about the last but I've heard of it. Ugh.

Everyone knows the bad news is out there. The problems grow. The general public is stressed. Do the networks/buidling owners/them think that we are going to be better off seeing and hearing more 24/7 365 and in our sleep? Everyone can worry, discuss, moan and groan or choose to ignore in their own way. Would it help the economy if I crawled into a box or sat in my front yard and thought about it all the time? would that make it better? probably not, but it would make me sad, angry, depressed and just plain not fun to be around. Should we tell our children, no more playing outside until the economy gets better? you can do you part to help by sitting quiently inside and crying because we need to change our lifestyle for a little while?

Middle America is the one hurting. Golly gee, donald trump just lost 50% of his retirement this week - so that leaves him what - 5 million? I lost half my retirement and that leaves me with, well probably what he spends on a nice dinner. the haves will still have it, and regain it quicker. and you know what really frosts my rear? the Media and papprazzi glamorizing those that have and the hollywood beauties. for the love of god, please to not innudate the general population with what these people are wearing, buying, eating or going on vacation, all while getting most of it for free so that those who can't afford it to begin with will try and buy the item or visit the great location and pay not only for their services but the services those who can afford it are getting for free. please

if you are going to provide me with televison entertainment while I pump gas into my car, please make it tom and jerry or the road runner.

Dentist

son 2 went to dentist for fillings, teeth hurt for 3 weeks. daughter went to dentist 2 weeks ago, teeth still hurt. she had the dentist she works for look at them, he said pain for another 2 weeks maybe. needless to say my visit last evening for a filling was looked upon with dread - always has, apparently always will. didn't eat most of the day, closed my eyes as soon as I sat down, they gassed me, not enough I don't think. 45 minutes later I was walking out. didn't hurt, wasn't too numb, drove home and went straight to bed with the cat. this morning, seem okay, and I hope I'm not jinxing it by saying that.

wanted to knit last night, but didn't get the chance, will try today I want to get this sweater done before the end of the month and I'm running out of time. of course, I've only done about 3 inches but why let a little thing like that stop me?

So what did he expect?

While my radar is pretty low for most things in the word that do not directly affect me and even for some things that do, I'm sick to death of the political race here in the US. Didn't like the two choices I have been offered, still don't like them, they both scare me and I have decided that set term limits for all political positions is a good idea. Virginia doesn't let the governor govern forever and once he's done, he's done. One person only gets up to 8 years to pretend he's god and try and ruin (oops I mean run) the country. Lets set that for all the senators and congressmen/women as well. I have no ide who will end up with my vote next november, but I do know that I will be voting for the non-encumbant for every other local election up on the ballot. It may not change anything and I'm sure the same old guys will get voted back in, I secretly think they have rigged the voting so it doesn't matter who anyone votes for anyway. But there's my position.

But that isn't even what I started on. OJ not the juice - oh except they call him that too. How stupid. years ago, cute young guy, on tv all the time, football, commercials, fancy life. everyone knew him, he was admired and awed then BAM! nasty divorce and the rest is history. Now he seems shocked that he actually can't pull a gun on someone and try to steal from them and we should be glad no one died, but still why the shock? How could he possible think that there was any way that behavior would be acceptable? Oh yeah, it worked last time there was a monkey circus called court of law. I'm glad that this time, sensible restraint was had by all, professionals acted like professionals and were kept in check and the jury did it's job.

and the crying girlfriend? please. the only thing she can be most sorry about is the loss of the free meal ticket. where were the kids supporting him through all this? oh yeah, disfunction raises it's ugly head again. I want to thank the television networks for not airing hours upon hours of drivle on every station, every day, week after week. I'm glad I didn't know all the hairy details. I'm glad I didn't hear the verdict for almost 24 hours. I'm glad justice somewhere was met

Fall

Cool crisp (okay kinda cold) mornings, hot coffee, kitty warming my lap and stinkin fleas. I can't believe we've got fleas. I didn't even let the cats go out side until about 3 weeks ago - after we got fleas. spent a shit load of money for flea killer stuff. they scratch, they itch, and my nice warm moment is spent picking the little peckers off stanley's head. He isn't feelin the love either.

But, will be a busy weekend and I can't decide how much to punish myself. Waterford Fair is this weekend. love. it. Well, I did when I was a kid, and I did until a few years ago when I thought there were less crafty vendors (or maybe my tastes have just changed and I don't care for the knick knack cutsey things anymore. But I love me that apple butter.

The fiber festival in orange is this weekend too. SO I thought, drop dan off at work, drive to waterford to get there well before they open, but be early, waunder for a bit, buy my apple butter and then go to orange for a mid afternoon yarn fix. Then be home by 5 ish. Simple, but someone else has to get dan from work. Then I map quested my trip. I know that it takes me about an hour to get to waterford easypeasy. I know that Orange is about 2 hours from home if there is traffic. but it is 2 hours between waterford and orange. bummer.

will have to think on this one. Fun day. won't end up spending a lot of money becuase I just never seem to find exactly what I want. But do want the AB in Waterford and I need a specific yarn in a specific color I believe I can get in Orange. Gas is freekin expensive. I started a sweater last weekend and I want to finish it before I go to mom's in 3 weeks. Sleeves aren't done yet, and so why am I typing? why consider sitting in the care for 5 hours of knitting time? what to do, what to do.

Clean Clothes

I've been accused on more than one occasion of being tight. Not that I won't spend money, but why spend more than you need to or at all if you can do without or make something work?

We bought a new washing machine 15 years ago more or less. Over the years, it has been used and abused, as the kids learned to do their own laundry, much like when the learned to drive a stick shift, there were errors. They broke the agitator twice (and burnned the clutch out of my car once). Bob has fixed it on more than one occasion both the agitator and clutch. I even fixed it once when he went fishing, there were no clean clothes and it didn't feel the need to work. Having helped him often enough, I figured it couldn't be that hard, ended up taking out the part that keeps the lid locked and it is has worked ever since (except for those new adgitators).

I finally had enough and announced that it was time to admit defeat and get a new machine. I spent a week looking for a washer. well actualy only one day, saw what I wanted, went back with the spouse - who then copped an attitude because he didn't want to spent 90 to have it deivered and they had some lame rebate of a 90 visa card. Don't want a stinkin visa card, just give me the money back. Then I went on a quest to find another washer. He said go buy the first one and we'll pick it up. HA! no one in this house has the time or inclination or the desire to pull a back in order to have clean clothes.

Finally Sears has saved the day once again and why didn't I just go there first? Went into the store at 9 pm friday (becaue of course what else would anyone do on a friday night?) and by 9:20 was writing a check for a spanking brand new machine 70 delivery/take away fee and thy will send me a check back for the 70. Then they said sunday deilvery? but I said oh no, I'd never get the basement clean in time for sunday delivery - WHO IN THE HECK DELIVES ON SUNDAY????? that is awsome and I would have snapped at it in a heart beat if it wasn't for that tiny little issue of a messy basement. So, they said fine, we'll call you sunday for a monday time. Got my time of 9 - 11.

Remembered when they told me that about my new refrigerator a few years ao, they showed up at 5 minutes to 7 . . . in the morning. . . . I heard the truck while I was in the shower and hadn't emptied the refrigerator yet becuase hello. the sun isn't up yet. and actually they did wait until about 7:15 when the sun was up to knock on the door and I bet my neighbors LOVED that truck rumbling out side at o' dark thirty. But I digress.

My basement is clean, the cute guy called at 9:10 to say they would be here in 5 minutes. They were, they took the old one, put in the new one and were gone by 9:35. I am using the washer first before any adult child has the opportunty to break the new machine. it is quet, BIG and for today, life is good

Ripping Out

After weeks of trying to talk myself into it. last night I started ripping out the hanna sweater I've been working on and off on for the past year. I should have neve let it go on that far, I should have ripped back after the first major misstake I told myself I could go back and fix later - like this is a computer program? this summeer I needed a project to carry on a trip and thought oh, I'll work on a sleeve. that way at least one will be done, I can work on the other one later and then will only have the body to finish. Got 2/3 done with the first sleeve and saw HUGE error at cuff. 2 inches of HUGE error. stared at it for a day, then riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. Ive started it over, and want to work on it some this weekend while it is rainy and the begininings of fall weather. The of couse, I started working on the sleeve of another sweater last night becuase it is on us10's (and the hanna is on us 2s), so of course I'll get the new one done quick fast and in a hurry and can justify just about anything if I put my mind to it.

Some profound person has said (and I'm sure more than one has said it) you get to enjoy your knitting more if you rip it back and do it again. extends the joy of working with a wonderful yarn.

I'd get more enjoyment out of actualy wearing a sweater I've finished because already I'm cold. And let's not even go to the drawer with a sweater done but not sewn together yet.

Girlfriend Day

I always hear about these things at the end of the day/program/month/whenever it is too late to get my act together. Thought about talk like a pirate day for months, find out the 29th that it was the 19th. Figures. Of course, if I was more compter savvy, I'd have the fancy dancy calendar bing at me a day or two before those important events . . . like birthdays. I always remember my momma's happy birthday, and the kids happy birthdays and even the spouse's happy birthdy, but my sister, nephews, niece and friends -- I know the months but always seem to miss the day.

So for all my girlfriends out there who I am connecting with today, happy girlfriends day and lets go do something fun :)

Friends

I had a wonderful relaxed lunch with J today. We don't get togther very often, maybe every couple of months for a leasurely sunday lunch and conversation. Her kids are young 9 and 12, mine are old, but we seem to have a wonderful friendship/connection with life. She is fortunate that her husband understands now that she needs some me time, it took mine awhile to get that.

It was a sunny warm day, we spent too much time in the restaurant then walked to the river and sat under a tree and reflected on life. Should have gotten ice cream, but didn't think of it. we've decided to go there again, and maybe one day meet with our spouses to have a leisurly dinner with adults.

life is good

I have got to get a handle on expenses. food is where I spend the most money, and see the most waste. Fortunately, it is getting cooler now and soup is always a goood leftover user. I saw a receipie for made from scratch corn bread I think I'll try and I use to make bread from scratch. Think I'll try that tomorrow with a roasted vegetable soup.

Change

Norma posed the question, what are you doing that is new and improved . . .

Funny, I've been on the "change my life story" for the past few months myself. I'm certainly not old, don't feel old and don't want to feel old, but will be reaching another of those milestone birthdays early next year and don't want to spend the next 50 years sorry for what I didn't do.

On this journey, I've started to take better care of myself (sorta), am learning to do for myself first and not put everyone else ahead of me. No, it isn't selfish. I've spent the last 25 years taking care of spouse and kids. They are all grown up now, have declared their independence - although two of them still live at home - and are forging their own lives. Spouse is making retirement noises, which is an entirely different entry.

I'm learning to say no without guilt and to say this is what I am doing because it is what I want.
I have let go of the notion that I have to do all/be all to everyone so that they will like/love/accept me. It is a hard process but after the first few times of my saying no, I won't help/give/accept what you want/need/tell me, I found it was easier the next time and my family and friends or even strangers didn't turn on me - hmm. guess all those books, shows etc. about respecting yourself so others will is actually true. I'm liking this.

I knit more, putter around the house and go out with friends, well not as often going out but mostly because I don't feel like it. I am more often relaxed and less short tempered. I'm getting a grip on the house and how I want it and am less concerned about what someone might think when they walk in the door.

All in all, I think I'm finally growing up, although I still don't know what i want to be. Maybe that will be the next 5 year project.

nothing today

Well, pretty much got nuthin this mornin, got a pair of fingerless gloves finished this weekend, and they took me way longer to do than they should, but they look good, I see what I want different and think I will make a few pairs for christmas gifts. Which I need to think about next I guess. Planning to go on a knitting retreat with my mom, daughter and sister in March, it will make a nice end of the winter break, of course have to pay for it now which is both good and bad. I'll have money to shop while I'm there, but now money now - all about me today

Angry People

It must be extremely difficult to live angry and unhappy all the time. There is a woman in my building, who was quite friendly 4 years ago when we moved in, chatted often, said good morning. Now - nothing. No good morning, if you pass her in the hall and say hello she looks down and stomps on by. Nothing. Wow, it must be hard to hold in all that anger, resentment or unhappiness. The energy she is expending could surely be used for better purpose. She seems to live life by confrotation, which has apparently worked well for a number of years. She is also EXTREMELY judgmental and we did discover early on that she has definate opinions about what is right and wrong and man you'd best agree with her. Somehow, I don't think her stand of open toe slingback at church is a crime punishabe at the pearly gates - but she is convinced that is sacralegious. And don't dare ask her about strapless wedding dresses. Could be because she wouldn't look good in one - oops, there I go starting to sound judgmental.

While no one is the building is fond of her, and I will say some tenants go out of their way to speak to her for the sole reason that they know she won't respond. Which actually is kinda mean but really, who can't at least be bothered to say hey?

Her elderly dog died recently. the only reason we knew that was because her office mate told us "in case we noticed she was more cranky than usual". Hmm well I won't touch that one. Any way, we sent her a sympathy card. We're all pet owners/lovers and know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet. Her response? She got pissed at her office mate for telling us personal things about her.

Does she have friends? Work associates? Does she treat everyone like that or only the few of us in the building? There are only 6 of us.

I hope that I never get there.

Ripping Back

SO, knited a pair of wrist warmers last weekend, hated the first one, tried to rip out from the beginning since the secnd half looked good. I know that doesn't work, why did I even think to try? threw the entire thing in the trash and will knit another one. uck. Which made me really think about the huge (for me) jacket I started knitting last summer, about 1/4 done, see some problems and thought oh, I'll just rip out and knit back. So now I know, don't even bother trying, rip out the ENTIRE thing and start over. almost makes me want to cry but then again, practice is supose to be a good thing. Think I'll start another sweater in the meantime so I have something successful, and will probably be done sooner.

First Day

Wow, well lets see what happens. The next test will be to see if I can actualy do this, get back into it :) and keep it up. Then, of course, there is the rest of the setting up of all my info.