The No Box

I resurected an old idea this weekend.   Last year started out meh and went down hill from there.  And I wallowed in it quite nicely thank you.  So I made a few life changing decisions.   One person who was greatly affected called it my meltdown, didn't care for the outcome and told me to get prozac.  Not really caring that that person ws 99% of the problem.   The rest of the people affected all said go for it!   And I've been told that in the last two months or so I've been easier to get along with and live with.   And I look much better :)  (so guess I looked like an old wrinkly hag before).    Every morning when I get up now, I can truthfully look myself in the eye and say I'm rocking and look hot!

However, I have allowed the situation and person or persons weigh on my mind.   Almost daily.   I finally came to terms with what I was doing and asked myself why?   Well, I said, because you're ascared of all the changes and what if they don't work and what if , what if, what if?   Well, what if?    If I don't make a success of the business ventures I'm starting, then I'll get a real job again with an employer.   However, on the flip side, I'm working now, my head is spinning with all the ideas and opportunities that have opened up for me and it isn't as if I am going to starve or be put out on the street.    I am fortunate (and greatful) that I have a supportive spouse and children who love me anyway despite all my shortcomings, because we all have them.  We won't lose our house or not be able to eat.    We probably won't be eating expensive stuff anymore, but most of that isn't good for us anyway.   We didn't eat out much before so not going to a restaurant isn't going to be a hardship.  The worst?   I may have to cut back on my visits to my LYS.   But on the flip side, I've got enough yarn and projects planned that I won't need to for a very long time.  And I've got time for school again.

Oh yeah, sorry, I go off in tangents often.    So I got myself a "no" box.   You know the kind, you had them when you were younger, you put your bad dreams, crappy date memories, etc in it, sealed it up and burried it in the back yard.  I took the last 8 months of bad memories, choices, experiences and put them in the box.   Sealed it up.  Put it in a hole in the ground.  Burned it.  Burried it.

Woke up this morning and man am I rockin!   I look good.   I feel good.   and whenever a "memory" tries to slip back in (or a person't name because specifics are everything) I stop it before it even reaches my ears!

To steal someone elses quote "Everybody's life will experience a meltdown, but it's what you do with the moment after that determines the outcome"

and now I'm done.  thank you very much

Swatch 1

read the directions.  several times.   reviewed all the questions so as to not be too surprised.  twice.  cast on.  and did the first bit before having to switch up.   twice.  wondering why I ever thought I knew how to knit.   How arregant of me.  pressing on anyway, if nothing else, after I've done the first three and written my questions/answers out.   I can go back and re-do them, right?    The only comfort I've taken so far is that I'm not the only one questioning my ability to knit.

But must now put that down, as I have irresponsibly and ill-advisedly (huh?) joined two swaps.   Both are due in 6 weeks.   Both require a hand knitted/made item to be enclosed.   I've also got to finish a sweater and start another one, because I also ill-advisedly joined a group whose goal is to knit a sweater a month.  I LOVE sweaters.   I wear them as soon as the temperature reaches 65 F and below.   Often with long johns under them . . . did I mention the hate to be cold part of me?   The one that the hot flashes and night sweats don't seem to affect?   So, must gather some knitting itemages and get ready for the crappy day job I've taken for the next few months.    ugh.  

Just leave me out of this please, she can't even spell cat, how will she spell knitting?

For Me This Time

Well, I finally did something last weekend that I've been wanting to do for a few years now. No, it isn't decadent, or really expensive, unless of course you're not working a steady job (which I'm not) but I got some christmas money, and decided to divvy it up appropriately.

So, I signed up for the masters knittng course with TKGA. The envelope came today. It is sitting on my desk because I don't have time right know to sit and absorb it, and I'm an absorber. I want to sit and look at it, read it a bajilling times and get started. After I clean the kitchen and go to my kick boxing class, because if I'm gonna be sitting around for the next howeverlongittakes to pass this course, I don't want my ass to spread the full width of my big comfy chair.

Arggg

So, I was going to write about how it is now the 4th day of the month, and I've only blogged twice, and missing one day was sorta okay, but two days was unacceptable. Then Spouse and A Son came home (see above).

So, I started a new temp job today, they said 3-4 months and I shuddered, the company hinted about full time prmanent by this afternoon. I really shuddered. Now I have to get crackin in my other projects so that I can say thanks but no thanks. Yes the money would be good but the aggrivation would not. On the other hand Spouse just put in for his retirement to be effective January 30 . . . do I really want to be home all the time with him? On the other hand, if I'd get my act together, I could volunteer somewhere up to once a week, and that would be 4 days away during the day, and I have friends to would be available . . . . I want it all
me too

Away

I told you not to go visit grandmommy without me

Happy New Year

And Change.

A wonderful word that has recently been used by famous blogger that I've decided to steal.

This will continue to be a year of change. Change for the better. Better me, better family, better life . . . not that the old life was bad. But I made some radical changes in the fall and am still adjusting to them. Good changes, scarry changs and changes that had a trememdous impact on several people.

So, on that path forward, I will also vow to change my blogging habits and do so more often.

Peace