The No Box

I resurected an old idea this weekend.   Last year started out meh and went down hill from there.  And I wallowed in it quite nicely thank you.  So I made a few life changing decisions.   One person who was greatly affected called it my meltdown, didn't care for the outcome and told me to get prozac.  Not really caring that that person ws 99% of the problem.   The rest of the people affected all said go for it!   And I've been told that in the last two months or so I've been easier to get along with and live with.   And I look much better :)  (so guess I looked like an old wrinkly hag before).    Every morning when I get up now, I can truthfully look myself in the eye and say I'm rocking and look hot!

However, I have allowed the situation and person or persons weigh on my mind.   Almost daily.   I finally came to terms with what I was doing and asked myself why?   Well, I said, because you're ascared of all the changes and what if they don't work and what if , what if, what if?   Well, what if?    If I don't make a success of the business ventures I'm starting, then I'll get a real job again with an employer.   However, on the flip side, I'm working now, my head is spinning with all the ideas and opportunities that have opened up for me and it isn't as if I am going to starve or be put out on the street.    I am fortunate (and greatful) that I have a supportive spouse and children who love me anyway despite all my shortcomings, because we all have them.  We won't lose our house or not be able to eat.    We probably won't be eating expensive stuff anymore, but most of that isn't good for us anyway.   We didn't eat out much before so not going to a restaurant isn't going to be a hardship.  The worst?   I may have to cut back on my visits to my LYS.   But on the flip side, I've got enough yarn and projects planned that I won't need to for a very long time.  And I've got time for school again.

Oh yeah, sorry, I go off in tangents often.    So I got myself a "no" box.   You know the kind, you had them when you were younger, you put your bad dreams, crappy date memories, etc in it, sealed it up and burried it in the back yard.  I took the last 8 months of bad memories, choices, experiences and put them in the box.   Sealed it up.  Put it in a hole in the ground.  Burned it.  Burried it.

Woke up this morning and man am I rockin!   I look good.   I feel good.   and whenever a "memory" tries to slip back in (or a person't name because specifics are everything) I stop it before it even reaches my ears!

To steal someone elses quote "Everybody's life will experience a meltdown, but it's what you do with the moment after that determines the outcome"

and now I'm done.  thank you very much