January 1, 2015

I am not one for New Year’s resolutions, although here I go again anyway.    I spent the last week working on re-evaluating 2014.   There were lots of things I didn’t like, but lots of things that I did like.  I have my list of goals and dreams and whatnots that I am going to work on this year.   

First I am going to let go of 2014.  

Work was one big year of sucking the happiness out of the job and the life out of me and by default family.  It took me almost six months to wrap my head around the “new normal” at work and make peace with things in the office.   Once I did though, I became instantly calmer and the satisfaction in life started to come back.   Not completely, and going to work still doesn’t give me the joy it did in 2013, but at least when I walk in the office I don’t want to cry and run sit in a corner chewing on my hair anymore.

Let’s just say that the bullies in the office were allowed to run amok.    One has since left when it was finally proven that he really was a worthless piece of flesh pretending to be an employee.   The other is still there.   But as I became more focused on what I could control, and others in the office started changing their attitude as well, a new kind of calm took over.    It became apparent to the one remaining bully that she had burned too many bridges and people.    All of a sudden she realized she had no allies remaining in the office and almost overnight became a smiling and sickly sweet woman.   Well every now and again her true personality comes out, but her “happy” self is really scary.   She is now in the uncomfortable position of realizing that the team has re-grouped and recommitted to doing our best and she is left on the outside.    Her efforts to make nice have been met with polite professionalism but no warmth or inclusion.   So,  at some point in time a new division leader - yet to be found will start (and the 10 months of no leadership is a story for another day) and take the office in a new direction.   

There was drama in the first six months of our family life, but fortunately it was met head on.   Swift decisions (and a smart judge) made the process as painless as possible for us and now we are moving on.   Both my brothers-in-law suffered medical crisis and are now doing better.  

My determination to have “happy thoughts” and continue re-routing the negative into some kind of positive will remain the main focus.  Self improvement is next on the list.